Tennis is a great sport - it is good to watch, and a lot of fun to play. I started playing tennis two years ago. I wasn't very good that first summer, I called it my 'summer of love' (ha ha, tennis joke). But not only was I exercising and getting into better shape, but I was having a lot of fun, meeting new people, and creating memories to last a lifetime.

One of my fondest memories was being out on the court with a guy who was older- maybe in his late 60's. He couldn't move very fast, but he could place his shots very well, and I was having a tough time against him. After the first few games he went to use the restroom. When he came back on the court, the entire paper 'sanitary butt protector' (or 'ass gasket') was hanging out the back of his pants. At first I didn't say anything- I didn't know the guy very well, and I don't like to embarrass the elderly. I figured it would fall out of his pants in a few minutes, and we would be done with it.

Well, we played the rest of the match like this, about 45 minutes. It was like he had some sort of big paper tail coming out of his pants. When he moved quickly, it would billow in the wind like the tail on a kite. When he would turn, it moved and flowed like a gymnasts ribbon. At one point I went over and tried to tell him about it, very casually and discreetly. Unfortunately he didn't really understand what I was saying, so I just decided to ignore it.

After the match, we went into the clubhouse and started talking to some other people. All of the guys were staring at the ass gasket hanging out of his pants, but nobody said anything. I felt guilty, like it was my responsibility because I was playing with him- but at this point, things had gone too far, and I was trying to distance myself from the situation. After about 20 minutes, he was being real friendly and asked if I wanted to go and meet his wife. He proudly marched over to an elderly woman, with a paper tail flowing behind him like the tail on a peacock. He got to her and turned to me. I watched as his wife nonchalantly shoved the entire ass-gasket into the back of his pants in one swift (for an old lady) motion. We said our hellos, and shook hands. (I cringed a bit, because it was the same hand that was just down her husbands pants.) At this point I had to leave, the situation was a little too ridiculous.

Yes, that was one of my fondest memories of playing tennis that first year.

But there is more to tennis than ass-gaskets and questionable handshakes

Many of the people who play tennis in Woodland play at Country Oaks. They've got nice courts, and more importantly, a lot of other people playing. Because playing tennis by yourself is only fun for a few minutes. It is easy to meet other players out on the courts there, so this is a good place to hook-up with new tennis buddies.

Country Oaks also hosts tournaments. Some tournaments are for club members, but others are for professionals. Yes, real, live, professional athletes come to Woodland for a competition.

Recently there was a 'Futures' tennis tournament at Country Oaks Racquet Club. 'Futures' as in 'future stars.' Essentially it is the double-A of the tennis world- where young players come to get their start in the big leagues. It may not have been the big names, but these are pros, and they are playing for money. This tourney was worth $15,000 and it attracted players from all throughout the world: Europe, South America, North America and Africa all had representation at the tournament.

We call this trick 'The Levitating Man'

The tournament started on Friday...or so I thought. This was actually a qualifier for the tournament which really starts the following Tuesday. (Which also happens to be the Farmer's Market, so I'll have to miss the first day.) 64 guys were vying for 12 spots in the tournament. The top 20 spots were given to other players based on their ranking. So it was a fight just to get in to the tournament.

Another revelation for me, this is a men's tournament. So if you were hoping to see Russian girls in short skirts- this was not the place. (Damn!) This is yet another reason I will be at the Farmer's Market when the tournament actually begins.